Cape Cod Weddings
Judith Todd-McNichol
Justice of the Peace
 

Massachusetts Justice of the Peace,

Reverend Judith Todd-McNichol D. D.

137 South Pond Drive, Brewster, MA 02631

Please call Judith Todd-McNichol to set up an appointment at:
508-896-9898 or

General Questions and Formalities

           
        

We have a Dynamic Calendar at the bottom of this page for your convenience.

What You Need To Do Before You Say I Do?
Are You Ever To Old To Marry?
Services and Fees
Wedding Etiguett Gratuity Guildines
What is special about a Custom Ceremony
Some Non-Traditional Wedding Ideas
What do we need to get married?
     
Calender to check your dates
Do we need any witnesses present at our ceremony?
Can we select our own vows? 
What is the Unity Candle Ceremony? 
What is a Unity Cup Ceremony?
What is a Hand Ceremony?  

What can we do to express happiness for the couple?
What can we throw in celebration (i.e. rice, bird food, etc.)?
What can we use as an aisle?
Where do we stand during the ceremony?
How can we show our guests appreciation for joining this special occasion?
Do we have to speak at the ceremony?
Can others be included in the ceremony?
Can we include various religious and cultural traditions?
Do we need rings?
Where can the ceremony be held?
What is the purpose of the pre-nuptial conference?
Can we renew our vows?
Can weddings be done quickly with short notice and only one day planning?

New Ideas for Ceremonies
Last Minute Wedding Tips
I need an interpreter for the deaf or hard of hearing for oue wedding what do I need to do?
Formalities

Q & A 

What You Need To Do Before You Say I Do

You will need Massachusetts Certificate of Marriage (License), before you can be married. The price varies from town to town, but is usually $30 or less. To obtain a license, both of you need to go, together, to any town or city clerk within the Commonwealth and file an application. It doesn’t have to be the town where you live, nor the town where you are getting married. After applying, there is a three-day waiting period before you can pick up your license. Either one of you can pick up the license at the end of the waiting period. Note a Judge can waive this waiting period. The fee for this waiver varies up to $195.00. The license is valid for sixty days.

Note: This is an informal summary of the requirements to get married in Massachusetts. It is provided for your convenience and as a quick reference only. For the official explanation, please go to the website of the Secretary of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts at: 
http://www.state.ma.us/sec/cis/
 in case there have been any recent changes.

Marriage in the Golden Years

Some people say that love is a fountain, an elixir which never stops flowing throughout our lives, whose origin is found in love’s infinite manifestations. Many of us are fortunate to find our soul mate and happily tie the knot with that person. There exist a whole barrage of emotions, sentiments and memories which the couples share over their entire lifetime when they marry later in life. Our life’s memories are precious. It is against this background of good memories, that a person feels even lonelier and hopes to find a special companion. To find a partner is precious in their journey of life. We age and out of sheer providence, we wait, sometimes reaping love’s rewards, when we meet a partner in the elder years of life's journey.
Marriage is a long journey, a journey which many people accomplish successfully young or older For those couples who see the entire length, of their love, during our older years it is like a beautiful rebirth of the heart. As we have more time on our hands we crave someone to share life, love, and attention with. It is in this light, the bond of love and marriage assumes special proportions. Not only do we feel cared for and secure during our 70’s,80’s, 90’s but a great amount of love comes into being between two partners as they are able to focus on one another. Caring and companionship assumes all the undertones and beautiful colors of their love during elder years and as a result enhances its importance. Love is a miracle and a sacred sanctuary of life. Celebrate…

Marriage License Application Information

License application information under revisions at this time, further information may be available from:
Citizen Information Service (CIS)
Secretary of the Commonwealth
One Ashburton Place, Room 1611
Boston, MA 02108-1512
Tel: (617) 727-7030
Toll Free: 1-800-392-6090 (within Mass. only)
TTY: (617) 878-3889
Fax: (617) 742-4528
This is the link for Citizen Information Service Home Page: http://www.sec.state.ma.us/cis/cisidx.htm and/ or  you can E-mail to: cis@sec.state.ma.us

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Services and Fees

My fee for officiating at a wedding for a "simple civil ceremony" as a Justice of the Peace is set by Massachusetts Law at $150 and $100 if the wedding takes place in Brewster.

I am honored to perform this civil service by the power vested in me by the Governor of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts as a public official for my community and my state.

Additional Services and Fees

Special Note # If you are an Iraq or Afghanistan Veteran please let me know and I will try to assist you with many complimentary services offered by myself and our community in honor of your service to our country, as a small thank you to our heroes.

There is an additional fee for performing a customized ceremony. Many couples want to have a ceremony written just for themselves. I will be glad to discuss this with you.

I recommend having an initial phone conversation to get acquainted and to determine the type of ceremony you desire. We can also set a date and time for your wedding. This is a free consultation over the phone or via email.

There is a fee for a pre-nuptial conference to discuss your upcoming wedding and vows. This can run two or three hours. At this meeting you will have the opportunity to discuss with me the complete planning and selections of your wedding ceremony. At this time you can choose any customs or wedding traditions such as readings, unity candle, floral ceremony, etc. you might like. Bring along anything you have for ceremonial ideas or readings you particularly like, perhaps you are a good writer yourself and want to share that in your ceremony.

There is a fee for a rehearsal. We will discuss this when we book a rehearsal for you. During the rehearsal I will show you the proper social etiquette for your particular wedding.

<><>Note: Full payments in advance of services by cash or money order only, is required to reserve your wedding date and time on my calendar please and they are non-refundable. If you are eloping last minute I will be happy to fit you into my schedule around pre-planned weddings if you don‘t care to book and confirm an exact time or date on my calendar.

Other Officiate Services..

"It is a very spiritual experience to be instrumental in joining two lives," "I feel honored and develop a strong connection with the couple that I will always cherish." Once a wedding is done. I am always happy to help people celebrate other Rites of Passage in their home and business life.

Vow Renewals

Take Oaths of Office

Take Legal Depositions

Open Corporate Meetings

Baby Naming Ceremony,

Baby Blessings Ceremony,

Baby Christening Ceremony

Baby Relinguishment  Ceremony

Adoption Ceremony

Dedication Ceremonies,

House Blessings,

Office Blessings

Life-commitment Ceremonies

Memorial Ceremonies

Funeral Ceremonies 

Interment  Ceremonies

Releasing of Ashes

Pet Funerals,

Dissolution Ceremonies,

Coming of Age

Adoption Ceremony

God Parent Ceremonies

Graduation

Changing of the Seasons

Retirement Party Celebration

and other Rites of Passage.
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Trees
a poem by Judith Todd-McNichol

 
A special part of your spirit you have given me
has been entwined with mine.
The threads of this are woven into a gentle togetherness,
While separely we stand as individuals
As individual trees deeply rooted in
their own plot of this earth
While in the sky our branches join and caress
Creating a beautiful interplay
of light and shadows
against the sunrises and sunsets
and all the skies of our lives

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Wedding Etiquette Gratuity Guidelines

As always, gratuities are well appreciated. These are some guidelines for tipping. Keep in mind that these are very general guidelines. One can tip higher according to his or her own discretion, and quality of service rendered. Since these services are only rarely incurred frequently in one’s life these guidelines should prove helpful in giving you current knowledge of appropriate percentages and dollar amounts as part of wedding manners.

Tipping has always been a personal expression of gratitude for service given and appreciated. The question of tipping those persons responsible for assisting you in your wedding planning is one of obvious importance and concern. So we have included some guidelines.

Gratuity cards or thank you cards are often given. For those people who you wish to say "thank you" along with either a gift certificate or money, these cards work perfectly. They work well for ministers, vendors, or anyone else you need to provide funds to. "Thank You" and inside write "For being part of our wedding". Also has "From" followed with your name.

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Bakers:

15% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)

Bartenders:

15% to 20% (if the bartender is not accepting tips from guests, an additional 10% is suggested, but not required.)

Caterer/Banquet Manager:

15% to 20% (usually included in contract, however, if the caterer or manager has done an exceptional job, an additional $1.00 - $2.00 per guest is suggested.)

Civil Ceremony Officials: 

Today, you find a "state set fee" for most of those in public service. In a recent survey, it was found the average gratuity (which varies from state to state) was between $50 and $75. If driving is involved, an additional gratuity normally is $75 and $100. This can be put in with a thank you note and be given after the ceremony.

Ceremony Staff:

$25.00 is suggested for altar boys, sextons, or aids etc. (gratuity is usually appreciated.}

Clergymen:

No less than a $75 gratuity is considered proper and it is rare to find anyone giving less than a $100  gratuity for the wedding officiant. This gratuity should be given to the best man prior to the ceremony. Promptly following the proceedings, he will then give it to the officiant. If travel is involved, an additional gratuity is appreciated $100 to $125.

Coat Room Attendants:

It is customary to give fifty cents to $1.00 per guest. However, it may be to your advantage to arrange for a flat fee prior to the event.

DJ's:

15% - 20% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)

Hair and Make Up:

Generally, 15% and higher is customary.

Florists, Photographers,  Musicians:

Tipping only for extra special services, up to 15%.

Limousine Driver:

A tip of 15% is the appropriate amount to be given to your limo driver. Be sure to read your contract, as the tip has often already been added into the final bill.

Parking Attendants:

$1.00 - $2.00 per car (if not accepting gratuity from guests, the host would be responsible for tipping parking attendants at the end of the event.)

Photographer and Videographers:

15 % on bills over $500 or a flat $50 on billings under $500 ( if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)

Organist and Musician:

Fees for church organists and musicians are often included in the rental fee for the church. When this is not the case, a gratuity of no less than $35 is appropriate, but in a recent survey, the average was $50 for each person. When the organist and musician (soloist) are close friends of the couple or family, the gratuity averaged $75.

Wait Staff:

15% to 20% (usually included in contract, however, if it is not included, the tip should be given to the maitre d' or head waiter along with an additional 1% - 2%.

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What is special about a Custom Ceremony?

CustomCeremony1

1. The Needs Of The Audience Come First. Every one of your invited guests has a need and a right, to see you, to hear you, and to be entertained by what you have invited them to. If your wedding ceremony is not enjoyed by everyone present- you fail. Also, it is not enough to simply recreate for your guests every wedding ceremony they've already seen a dozen times. The typical wedding ceremony - which has the couple's backs turned to their guests, and which is virtually inaudible to all except those in the first row, uses predictable music etc.- is so numbing that 10% to 40% of those invited will skip it and attend the reception. I'll show you how to change all of this by using a custom ceremony format that's fun to watch and listen to, as well as emotionally evocative. The success of your wedding ceremony lies in engaging your guests; everything else is secondary to this.

CustomeCeremony2

2 Feelings Make Weddings. The ceremony must evoke feelings in your guests for feelings are what move us- not mere words. Intellectually based ceremonies, where love is explained or where the Officiate bases the ceremony on telling anecdotal stories about the couple make for marginal affairs indeed. One month after your wedding day, very few people will be able to tell you what was said during your ceremony- that's human nature. But ten years from now they will still be able to tell you how they felt at your wedding ceremony. The success of your wedding ceremony will therefore be measured in smiles and tears. Don't let it be measured in yawns. I need to try to know you both well to do this for you.

CustomeCeremony3

3. Poise Makes A Bride And Groom. Even though I have 90% of the speaking role in your ceremony, you and your bridal party are going to do a lot more talking than I am. And you're going to do by the way you conduct yourselves. Despite my beautiful presentation of your ceremony, your guests will be intently studying you, not me. And therein lies an immense opportunity for the both of you. By conducting yourselves in a focused, calmed, at times lightly affectionate manner, and by taking your time when interacting with loved ones during your ceremony, your poised performance will bring rave reviews. Don't worry, you may not know how to give such a performance right now but my thorough rehearsal session with you, typically between an hour, to an hour and a half in length, will have you well prepared and confident for a stellar performance.

CustomCeremony4

4. Your Ceremony Must Use Effective Visuals. In every wedding ceremony- the eyes have it. In other words, what your your guests see will far outweigh what they hear. It follows then that 'story telling', as when a minister attempts to explain the meaning of love, or give the history of your relationship, will fall far short as a means of conveying what the day truly means to you. Learning is work. Do you believe your guests would rather read the book or watch the movie?

In wedding planning, I make extensive use of visuals. A visual might be the lighting of a unity candle; the use of readers; the giving of a long stem rose to your mothers and grandmothers; the lighting of a candle before the picture of a deceased loved one; wine sharing by the bride and groom; or a great finale involving your guests in a balloon release as you walk down the aisle between them. Your ceremony must be strong in it's visual appeal. You'll not only delight your guests, but a wedding video ceremonial reading containing you parents wedding photos, your baby pictures, to adulthood and then meeting each other and right up to the wedding with a reading and music in the background will be rich in imagery as well as exceptional.

Some Non-Traditional Wedding Ideas

You might want to think of incorporating some of these into your wedding. The beauty of today’s weddings are that you can own them, make them yours, customize to fit the two of you. Enjoy!

Children at your Reception

Set up a special "children's table". Where balloons are tied to every chair and "busy packets" at every place setting. The busy packets contained coloring books and crayons, small puzzles, activity books and blank paper. The kids don’t have to listen to boring grown up conversation and they have things to keep them busy. Make a point of visiting the table several times during the reception. It was a party for them and a great celebration for you!

Receiving Line

Receiving lines can be very long and boring. Instead of the traditional receiving line, after the ceremony when the guests came into the lobby to enjoy some drinks and food, make a grand entrance and take a position in the room. Guests are allowed to come and stand in the line at their own convenience, if they wanted to. This allowed them the freedom to enjoy this time rather than waste it standing in a long line.

Receiving Line “official photographer"

People really dress up for weddings, they go to the time and trouble of looking their best to honor the couple getting married. Your "official receiving line photographer" will be given a Polaroid camera and some fun film with a special boarder. Her job will be to go down the line taking pictures of couples or families waiting in line. It will be a memorable keepsake of themselves at the wedding.

Receiving Line Alternative

Dismiss the guests yourselves. Have everyone remain in their seat until we came to their row in the aisle. This way you can talk to everyone without them having to stand in long line. It is great and much quicker!!

Mail Expense Savings

Instead of having RSVP cards, here is a money-saving tip. Create a website for your wedding, and an email address specifically for that to RSVP by, which is listed on the invitation. We also Can open a voicemail box with your phone company inexpensively so those who don't have a computer can respond this way instead.

Butterfly Release

Guests are given envelopes prior to the ceremony. During the ceremony, Bride and Groom exchange their vows, turned to their guests and opened their envelopes, releasing butterflies into the garden. The guests then do the same. It is quite lovely and took the place of rice, bubbles, or bird seed. Absolutely nothing harmful was dispersed, the butterflies take flight and soon light on the flowers, pollinating and continuing the cycle of life.

Unity Candle Variations

For an evening wedding.

After the traditional lighting of the unity candle the groom and bride then take their still-lit taper candles down the aisle. Each guest will have received a white candle along with their program before the ceremony. Bride begins with the groom's parents, and the groom with the Bride’s parents, then you will each work your way down the aisle, lighting the candle of the first person in each pew. Then the Officiate will explain that with the lighting of these candles, our families and friends have truly been united with the light of your love.

3 Wick Candle get the Parents involved.

An interesting unity candle...

Buy a three wick candle, have the parents of the groom light one wick while the parents of the bride will light another wick, then have the bride and groom light the remaining wick to unit the families represented . Very nice with just one candle.

Unity Memorial Candles Also

During the unity candle lighting, Bride or Groom or both can light a candle on the table as a memorial for someone who can’t be with you but is a very special part of your life. You can place a photo of them near it also.

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Christmas Weddings

Plan to decorate Christmas ornaments with your name and the date as our favors. Have a tree with the ornaments hanging, and announce that the guests may take their favors before they leave.

Or ask guests to bring an Ornament

People are requested to bring along a small Christmas ornament (1/per family) from their personal collections. The purpose of this is to remember all of your friends who came to your wedding. You will hang up all the little ornaments they gave to you on your first tree at Christmas.

Processional

The groomsmen come to the front to stand, as usual, but the groom and the best man do not. The groom and best man will be in a room at the back with the bride's mother and the groom's parents, separate from the bride and bridesmaids. The groom will then escort the bride's mother to her seat, and the best man will escort the groom's parents to their seats as part of the processional. After the parents are seated, the groom and best man will assume their regular positions at the front of the church just before bridesmaids begin walking down the aisle. The bride's father will then march the bride down the aisle, then he will then be seated.

Processional Photos Memories

Get a good picture of your dad walking you down the isle. Instead a picture of your "backs", take a few steps, stop, turned around and the photographer can get a great picture of your faces

Processional Mother Walking you Down the Aisle

After your bridesmaids and matron of honor walk down the aisle, The Bride will escort her Mother down the aisle. Her fiancé will be waiting at the end of Mothers row, rather than at the altar. They both kiss her, Mother can then sit down, and you will walk to the altar together from there.

Processional Introduction Video/ or Ceremonial Reading Video

<>A video made of various pictures of Bride and Groom parents as they were married then the Bride and Groom as they were growing up and then of them together up to a short time before the wedding and set the video to a special song for them. The video was played on a giant video screen by the altar after all the guests had been seated and the Groom and all Groomsmen were in place; the Bride and all the Bridesmaids watched from the back. This can also be played during the ceremony with a reading and music as part of it ,instead of before the wedding. The bridal party takes a front row of chairs and sits down and watches with their guests, A special set of chairs is placed in the middle of the front aisle for the bride and groom.

<>Processional for Groom and His Father

The Groom walks down the aisle with his father just like the Bride walks down the aisle with her father. It is the groom's day too.

Processional Outside Small Wedding Ocean Blessing
The officiate leading, then bride and groom and then all family/guests, all carrying white roses which will be thrown into the ocean in celebration at the close of the ceremony! An Ocean Blessing reading will be given at that time.
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Favors

Favors that would be meaningful and useful to our guests. Pick 15 of our favorite love songs(including the song we will dance our first dance to)and have them put onto CDs. The covers for the cases will have your color copied engagement picture with our names and wedding date on the bottom! Inexpensive and special.

Roses for Moms

Hidden in your bouquet can be long stem roses. When you are escorted up the isle, pause long enough to give a roses to mothers.

Bridemaids

Dresses

Let bridesmaids pick there own dress. Tell them for instance all that you want is for their dress to be long and black, they get to pick which one looks best on them. They are all very different women, with different body styles. You will have happy bridesmaids.

Floral Alternative for Evening Wedding

Bride, maid of honor, and the bridesmaids carry glass candle stick with a peglite in it so it will burn a votive candle of a color in our wedding. This will prevent wax from spilling on their dresses. The candle stick will be decorated with a bow, greenery and a single rose bud. This will be a very nice look, with the candles lit, as they make their entrance in the low light of the evening.

Bridesmaids Flowers’

Bridesmaids Can carry one single flower in place of a bouquet. Each rose color or flower will symbolize a sentiment, with the International Language of Flowers that you wish your marriage to have. Red rose, love. Pink rose, desire, etc. The maid of honor will be carrying a bouquet of one of each of the flowers plus her own.

Children Involvement in Ceremony

Keepsakes for Girls.

For a wedding to symbolize the joining of your 2 families, include the children in the ceremony and exchange charm bracelets with each others child. The girls walk down the aisle together, and stand up front with the rest of the wedding party. The bracelets will each have a charm of the wedding date, big sis/lil sis, their birth dates, and birthstones. On each anniversary or holiday you can add to the bracelets., as well as; on our anniversary. This way the girls will feel that you accept them to love and cherish forever as well.

Brides Children on Invitations

<>Your invitations were worded as " Name and Name invite you to share in their joy at the marriage of their mother...." Brides son will be walking down the aisle with me and her fiancée has special vows he will recite to the children at the end of our ceremony and he will give them each a small gift.

<>Place Cards

Place cards with different wedding tradition and history on each table. It will be interesting and entertaining for your quests to read and they will be reminded of the true symbolism of the wedding traditions.

Guest Book Alternatives

Have a special calendar made with 12 pictures taken during family and friend events. During the cocktail hour they will have an opportunity to fill in their individual birthdays on the proper dates of the calendar, and sign their names. As a couple you can send birthday cards during the year to our friends signed with love from Mr. and Mrs.

Venue Flowers

Ask the Bride who is getting married before you, at the same venue, just call the wedding coordinator and get her phone number. Ask her if she would be interested in going half and half on the venue decorations.

Programs

Guests may be wondering who the people in the bridal party are and what is their relation to the bride and groom. So at your wedding, in the program list each person in your wedding party with a little paragraph on how you know this person and a little fun tidbit and or why they are special to you. It was nice for them to read and gave your guests a special insight of your friends and family and you won’t leave them guessing who was who!

Replace the Traditional Bouquet and Garter Throwing

Invite everyone to the dance floor and play several lovely, slow songs. First tell all couples married two hours or less to sit down (everyone will get a kick out of that). Then a few moments later, any married a year or less, than five years, ten years and so on, until there was only one couple left. Ask them to stay on the dance floor while the Bride takes a seat and her Groom makes a big show of removing her garter. Then faced the winning couple, congratulate them on their married years and asked them for their best marriage advice as you present them with the bouquet and garter. They will be very touched and it will give you a great feeling too.

Variation on the theme

Instead of tossing the bouquet, give a single flower to every single women at the reception. The flower will be a duplicate of one of the flowers in the bridal bouquet. The flower can a poem pinned to it as well as wishes for love, success and health. There is no reason that only one girl should have all of the fun, this way every single women is given well wishes.

Reception for Deaf Bride and or Groom

Bride and Groom are Deaf... instead of clicking your forks on the glasses to signal it is time to kiss... wave your napkins in the air. It is sooo beautiful to see a bunch of napkins swirling in circles!

Girl Ring Bearers

Instead of boys for ring bearers, try having 2 of the girls in your family walk down the aisle in the same dress as the bridesmaids, but each will be holding a wedding band. This way they will be able to be bridesmaids as well as having the honor of carrying the rings.

Wedding Kiss with a Large Height Difference

Use a little white footstool decorated with lace!

Floral Centerpiece with beach theme

Glass bowls surrounded by light colored roses with roses floating in the bowl. Plus, there will be goldfish in the water, under the roses. It's something unusual for your guests to see when they sit down

Recessional Come Back

Announced husband and wife and you walked up the aisle together to the back of the venue, then return back down the aisle to escort our parents out instead of having the ushers do it - your parents will be surprised !

First Gift Exchange as Part of Your Ceremony,

Attendants can carry gifts to the altar for you and you can exchange them before the pronouncements but after the vows and ring exchange.

Uniting Two Families

After the vows all of you walkout together, united all together on that very special day.

Guest Book Alternative

Instead of having a guest book, have a engagement picture blown up and display that picture on an easel at the ceremony and the reception and have the guests sign the white border around the picture. Then reframe it and hang it.

Outside Wedding and Dinner

Set up Tables around the lawn / beach with the "isle" right down the middle. The guests will be seated at the tables during the ceremony and afterwards, they just get up and serve themselves the food and sit back down at the tables. It saves a lot of time and movement from ceremony to reception!

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What do we need to get married?

The three mandatory requirements for a wedding in Massachusetts are:
    1. The two people intending to get married
    2. The officiator
    3. A valid marriage license

Do we need any witnesses present at our ceremony?

No. Massachusetts Law does not require that witnesses be present at your ceremony.

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Can we select our own vows?

Absolutely. I have a number of samples available from which you may choose. If you prefer, you can write your own words, or a combination of both I will be glad to customize vows for you. Some couples like to included poems, love letters, have friends or relatives speak.

Unity Candle Ceremony

This ceremony symbolizes the joining of two families members of each family light a candle and give it to their family member about to be wed. If the ceremony is at night they in turn light one candle that has been given to each guest. Then they place their candles on opposite side during the ceremony. After they say their vows they each carry their family candle to the center and light the unity candle that has been placed there.

Unity Cup Ceremony

Each family give the member of its family being married a cup of wine this signifies individuality and family. After the vows they pour that into a shared glass and each take a sip; this symbolizes their union now.

Hands Ceremony

A hand ceremony takes place just before a ring ceremony and I ask both people to hold and look at their fiancé's hands and I talk about what a gift their hands are to you by mentioning what they do with their hands for you. This ceremony is a ancient ceremony  taken from the old hand tying ceremony, "Tying the Knot", where couples hands where gently tied for a ceremony and this was accepted as a civil marriage for hundreds of years right up into the 1930's. It speaks to the love and bonding to each other in the wedding ceremony.

I also have other ceremonies you may choice from. I can show you these if we have a consultation.

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What can we do to express happiness for the couple? 

Have butterflies, balloons , bubbles, doves released during the ceremony.

What can we throw in celebration? (i.e. rice, bird food, etc.)

Rice, bird food, grass seed, flower petals, bubbles. Each guest can throw one of their shoes over the brides head, very carefully.

What can we use for an aisle? 

The bride can walk down an aisle runner made up of , sea shells, pebbles, sea glass, small flowers whole. fresh rose petals, a path in the sand between dunes, a path in a park.

Where do we stand during the ceremony? 

The bride and groom can face their guests during the ceremony, or face each other half way turned toward guests , or you backs may be to your guests, or your guests may encircle you.

How can you show our guests appreciation for joining this special occasion? 

The newlyweds can hand a rose to each guest at the end of the ceremony, showing they want to share the love of their day and appreciate the guests coming to their wedding you can also, give them a small favor or memento, share a glass of champagne, have a barbecue, have a picnic, some h'or dourves, go out for toasts or dinner, brings your suits change and go swimming for awhile. 

Do we have to speak at the ceremony? 

Only if you want to, you can say as little as, “I do.”

Can others be included in the ceremony? 

Definitely. There are many ways to include family members and friends in the ceremony. For example, your loved ones can do readings or music, walk down the aisle, carry the rings, and participate in candle lighting, flower ceremony and more. There are limitless possibilities.

Can we include various religious and cultural traditions? 

Yes, definitely, we can also include any other special traditions you desire. We want the wedding to suit your needs and desires for the perfect wedding.

Do we need rings? 

No. They are traditional, however, rings are not required. Some couples exchange other things as keepsakes as well.

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Where can the ceremony be held? 

Anywhere you want, outdoors, at your home, at a hospitality site, or any location and up to twelve miles out in the ocean. You will find the Cape and Islands are full of many beautiful and historical locations from which to choose.

Do we have to hold a rehearsal?

A rehearsal is important if you are planning anything other than a very basic wedding. It gives everyone, not just the bride and groom, an opportunity to become familiar with their roles in the wedding ceremony. However, it is not a “must.”

What is the purpose of the pre-nuptial conference? 

The Pre-nuptial conference helps individualize your wedding. This meeting sets the tone for your wedding ceremony. We can customize your ceremony with passages and readings that express your thoughts, feelings, and commitment. I have a number of services and vows available from which you can choose. The meeting also affords you the opportunity to become familiar with me as your officiate, and gives me the chance to know you a little better.

It is for these reasons that I recommend a pre-nuptial conference. On the other hand, if you "just want to get married," call me and we can set up a time and a place to do just that, even on short notice.

Can we renew our vows? 

Yes. I have a number of ceremonies for those who want to celebrate a renewal of their vows.

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Can weddings be done quickly with short notice and only one day planning? 

Yes, it is possible, if it is a weekday, and you get an early start. First go a town hall, and apply for your license, then to the courthouse to ask the judge for a waiver and then back to the town hall to pick up your marriage certificate. This is very difficult time-wise but possible with an early start. I will help you as much as I can if this is your desire.

Please call me anytime at the number shown below. If I am not at home, leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can. If you prefer, you can email me and I will respond as quickly as possible.

Reverend Judith Todd-McNichol Justice of the Peace

I specialize in organizing and conducting weddings of all faiths and traditions. I will help to plan your personalized ceremony and vows, making your ceremony one-of-a-kind and creating memories that will last a lifetime. With many vows to choose from and other services offered, I will do my best to make your wedding day special.

<> We can meet at your convenience. Call me anytime at 508-896-9898 to arrange an appointment to discuss your wedding plans. If I am not at in the office, leave a message and I will get back to you. If you prefer, you can email me at CapeCodWeddings@comcast.net

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New Ideas for Ceremonies
Whats new making your nuptials a uniquely you affair, it makes the event very personal, while keeping it simple, and it does not cost a fortune.
 
Bouquet toss can be made into a breakaway bouquet that divids into several mini nosegays  when you throw it giving more than one bachelorette a chance to catch it.
 
Some different tunes for walking down the aisle are "Can't  Help Falling In Love" Elvis Presley, "Your Smiling Face" James Taylor, or "For Once in My Life" by Stevei Wonder. If your budget is low try music by ipod or MP3 player and sound system.
 
If you know what hotel or motel your quest will be staying in leave them a special bedtime snack and note the night before your wedding.
 
Invitations mix fonts cursive and block for a new look.
 
Four legged attendants as ring bearers for flower dogs.
 
Bring a basket of slippers or flip flops to the reception for your guests  tired feet.
 
Bridesmaids get to choose their own dress, shoes, and jewlery, you just give them a color.
 
Photos in sepia or black and white.
 
Desert buffet, cookies, brownies, cupcakes, even  Sno Balls and Ring Dings all as an after dinner and cake retreat.
 
First dance start with something slow and sweet then segue into something fast and upbeat for a suprise.
 
Toasts are usually lead by the Best Man, then the Father of the Bride,  then keep the floor open  have the Best man help others to give you toasts if the care to also, the Bride and Groom can also toast their parents or guests.

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Last Minute Wedding Tips

List of last minute tips for wedding couples. I hope some of these help you during and after your service.

Bring your license in a STAMPED enveloped the clerk usually gives you an envelope with their return address on it for me to return your license in.

Legal size envelopes take one stamp if it is larger than that it will need two stamps.

Licenses are not given back to you. They are registered in my office, then sent to the town clerk and she completes the license and registers it in the town office and with the city average time for this is 10 days but it can take up to a month and a half. Town clerks have busy jobs handling elections and all kinds of licenses so sometime it takes a while. If you need your license to be expedited let me know we can arrange hand delivery or special delivery services for you in some cases you may be able to have it that day or the next business day. But do let me know ahead of time so we can set that up and discuss the expense involved.

Never for any reason are copies of your license to be given out or the original given back to the couple until the are registered. This is illegal and I could loose my license if I did this so please do not ask. I understand the need for a rush on it at times and I will try to help you with that. I can not give your license back to you for any reason what so ever.

Be sure not to drink to much or do drugs or we will have to cancel the ceremony until you are of sound mind and are able to legally contract. Remind you attendants it is your special day and you do not want them to ruin it with to much drinking so no drinking 3 hours before ceremony.

I would not suggest to much partying the night before as it can cause people to feel ill and pass out during their own ceremony. Note this goes for attendants also.

All cell phones OFF for ceremony spread the word.

Guys take our hats off for ceremony.

Sun Glasses off during ceremony.

No gum chewing.

If children are attendants in your ceremony and act up or cry let them be excused to go with their parents, or whomever can comfort them, trauma is not good for a ceremony. If they want to walk around that is fine.

I hope you are getting pictures, tell the photographer they are free to take pictures during the entire ceremony they will not bother us.

Musicians can also play during the whole ceremony if they keep it to a background sound it is very nice. If they need to be notified when to start playing I will be glad to do so.

You will need to notify various companies and institutions to let them know you are married. Some of these will require a certified copy of your marriage license, a copy, letter or phone call. Be sure to get the additional copies you may need from the town clerk whom you are obtaining your license from.

Banks
Credit Cards
Contract Holders
Drivers License
Employer
Insurance Company
IRS
Passport
Post Office
Retirement Plan
Voter Registration
Also remember to look over or establish legal documents.
Health Care Proxy
Living Will
Power of Attorney

If you are in the service they will want a copy
Immigration

Trust
Will

There could be others also this is just a base list for you.

If the wedding is out of doors you may well need to bring along bug spray: they do make a natural blend without deet, that does not smell bad or a large golf umbrella.

Another tip bring a handkerchief in pocket; it is not unusual for someone to need this.

If you are doing the sand ceremony bring your containers.

If you are doing the rose ceremony bring the roses.

If you need a small table bring that.

Wine ceremony requires a bottle of wine an OPENER and a goblet or two.

Hand fasting ceremonies require 2, 5 or 6 foot long bindings.

Don’t forget your rings it is better to keep them in an adults pocket and tie fake ones on a pillow for the ring bearer to carry. Once dropped in sand or grass they can be gone.

Ring fingers normally swell for ceremonies and rings that fit the day before will have great difficulty going on so put extra hand lotion just on your ring finger before the ceremony!

Feet, ladies high heels and hose get chewed up in the sand just like rubbing rough grit sand paper on them. So if you have special heels picked out save them for before and after the beach. Better to wear sandals, flip flops, or just go barefoot! You can have I love you painted on your toe nails, or I do, I do. It is a beach wedding…

If you are doing a beach wedding or tour remember you can bring a cooler with cheeses, shrimp, crackers, sparkling wine or beverages etc. with you to celebrate. Be green and clean up behind yourselves.

I will be glad to do a toast for you just let me know.

If you are having a large group we should arrange for an outdoor PA system so everyone can hear. Let me know or work with your DJ on this.

First kiss hold it for “1 to 5 Mississippi” so photographers can grab it! Have fun with this and practice some drama with it ahead of time! Maybe a dip…

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For Deaf or Hard of Hearing Needing Interpreters

Requests for Interpreters are made either directly by Deaf, Deaf-Blind, late deafened, hard of hearing and hearing individuals and/or agencies, organizations, schools, employers, businesses, doctors, hospitals, police departments, courts and other entities seeking to make themselves accessible to the former.

It is generally the payee - the party legally responsible under state and federal law for provision and payment for such service - that initiates the request.

Where do I make the request?

Massachusetts Commission for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing
Interpreter/CART Referral Service
150 Mt. Vernon Street, Fifth Floor
Boston, MA 02125
Phone Numbers#

617-740-1600 Voice / Adrian
617-740-1700 TTY
617-740-1880 Fax
Toll Free: 800-530-7570 TTY
Toll Free: 800-882-1155 Voice
Hours: 8:45 a.m. - 5:00 PM, Monday - Friday

For wedding / legal emergencies only, please call 1-800-249-9949 TTY/Voice everyday, 24 hours a day.

What should I tell the Referral Specialist?

Your name, telephone number and organization (if applicable)

Date and time that you will need an interpreter, and length of assignment

Address of the assignment including specifics: the name of the building, court or clinic, what floor, room number, etc.

The nature and format of the meeting (i.e., medical appointment, platform lecture, staff meeting, civil or criminal court case, docket number, etc.)

Number of participants, Deaf, Deaf-Blind, Hard of Hearing, Late Deafened and hearing

Special equipment to be used (i.e., microphones, overhead projectors, video, etc.) for interpreters and/or CART providers; specify whether projection services will be required and what equipment, if any, you can or will provide (i.e. monitor, LCD projector, projection screen, etc.)

Names of deaf participants and their preferred mode of communication (i.e., American Sign Language, oral, Signed English, etc.), if known; and names of participants who will be using CART services

Names of preferred interpreters and CART providers. Often Deaf, Deaf-Blind, hard of hearing, and late deafened individuals provide the names of their preferred interpreters and/or CART providers. These individuals are contacted first in an attempt to honor these preferences. If there is an interpreter or CART provider you would prefer not to work with, feel free to inform MCDHH

Payment information: the name, address, and telephone number of the person who will be paying for the interpreter and/or CART provider

<>Name and telephone number of the contact person at the location of the assignment 

Please call in your request as early as possible, as freelance interpreters and CART providers often book their schedules weeks if not months in advance. Every attempt will be made to fill your request; however, all requests are subject to the availability of interpreters and/or CART providers. Priority will be given to those requests involving urgent mental health, medical and legal matters. Generally, MCDHH will notify the requestor at least two days prior to the assignment to inform them if an interpreter and/or CART provider has been scheduled. A one-week notification period will be used for requests for conferences, certain meetings, and other events in which rescheduling is difficult or impossible. Please note that only the requestor (the person paying for the service) will be notified regarding the availability of the interpreter/CART provider.

If it is an emergency request, what should I do?
The MCDHH After-hours Emergency Interpreter Service provides on-call interpreters in designated regions throughout the state to respond to emergencies evenings after 5:00 PM, and on weekends and holidays. MCDHH depends on freelance interpreters' volunteering to staff this service, and therefore, cannot guarantee having on-call interpreters available in all regions at all times.

During regular daytime business hours, MCDHH is not able to provide on-call interpreters assigned only to emergency requests. However, during these regular hours, MCDHH coordinates emergency responses, when possible, through the freelance and MCDHH staff interpreter systems.

For all medical, mental health and legal emergency interpreter requests, day or night, call: 1-800-249-9949 TTY/Voice. Evenings after 5:00 PM, weekends, and holidays, you may also call 800-760-1625 TTY and 617-556-5286 Voice.

What if there is a cancellation or a change from the original request?
Please report any changes or cancellations as soon as possible. This is necessary regardless of whether you have received confirmation from MCDHH that an interpreter has been assigned. Since interpreters and CART providers are in high demand this information will assist in more efficient use of their services. If cancellations are not called in at least 48 business hours in advance of the assignment date, you may be billed in full for the interpreter's time.

How much does it cost to hire an interpreter?
As do other professionals who contract their services, interpreters charge fees based on qualifications, experience, and type of job assignment. The fees quoted below are approximate ranges; fees are set by the individual interpreters for jobs in the private sector.

Freelance interpreter: a minimum fee ranging from $60 to $128 for the first two hours depending on level of certification and training. Usually, but not always the first two hours of a wedding are free of charge.

Exact fees per job, cancellation policy, travel, and mileage are negotiated by the paying consumer and the freelance interpreter.

Gratuities are up to you if you have been happy with their services provided.

Can I give feedback about the interpreter?
Yes. You can share feedback, both positive and negative, with MCDHH. The relevant information regarding any complaint will be shared but the name of the complainant and specific details that could identify same will not be used without your express permission.
  

To have an interpreter for your wedding the following information is needed.

u Today’s Date: u Your Name:

u Your Phone #: Ext. u Your Fax #:

u Your Agency:: Justice Judith Todd-McNichol JP DD office number 508 896 9898

u Date(s) of Assignment:/ Wedding

u Beginning Time of Assignment: / Wedding u End Time of Assignment: Location/Address of Assignment: (include bldg., floor, and room #)

u On-site Contact Person:: Justice Judith Todd-McNichol u Phone # On-site: / cell #

u Description of Situation/Nature of Assignment: Wedding Ceremony / a copy of the ceremony can be emailed to the interpreter ahead of time, once ,we have their name, phone and email from Judiith Todd-McNichol‘s office or faxed to them. Whichever they prefer..

u Names of Deaf or Hard of Hearing Person(s):

Communication Preference, if known (ASL, Signed English, tactile, CDI, etc):

Requested Interpreters (unless otherwise specified by requestor, Ref eral Service will also check with other qualified Interpreters if requested Interpreters are unavailable):

Total # of Participants Other Agencies Involved:

Total # of Hearing impaired attending ceremony

Calendar - Check your dates:

 

Calculate duration between two dates with time

This service calculates the duration, counting the number of years, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds between two moments in time.

Enter start date and time



1–12
jan–dec

1–31
1–3999


0–23
1am–12am
1pm–12pm

0–59
0–59

Enter end date and time



1–12
jan–dec

1–31
1–3999


0–23
1am–12am
1pm–12pm

0–59
0–59

 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Judith Todd McNichol Congratulations

Judith Todd-McNichol
508-896-9898

Created and Designed
 by
Judith Todd-McNichol
and
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