Formalities

As always, gratuities are well appreciated. These are some guidelines for tipping. Keep in mind that these are very general guidelines. One can tip higher according to his or her own discretion, and quality of service rendered. Since these services are only rarely incurred frequently in one’s life these guidelines should prove helpful in giving you current knowledge of appropriate percentages and dollar amounts as part of wedding manners.

Tipping has always been a personal expression of gratitude for service given and appreciated. The question of tipping those persons responsible for assisting you in your wedding planning is one of obvious importance and concern. So we have included some guidelines.

Gratuity cards or thank you cards are often given. For those people who you wish to say "thank you" along with either a gift certificate or money, these cards work perfectly. They work well for ministers, vendors, or anyone else you need to provide funds to. "Thank You" and inside write "For being part of our wedding". Also has "From" followed with your name.

Today, you find a "state set fee" for most of those in public service. In a recent survey, it was found the average gratuity (which varies from state to state) was between $50 and $75. If driving is involved, an additional gratuity normally is $75 and $100. This can be put in with a thank you note and be given after the ceremony.

No less than a $75 gratuity is considered proper and it is rare to find anyone giving less than a $100 gratuity for the wedding officiant. This gratuity should be given to the best man prior to the ceremony. Promptly following the proceedings, he will then give it to the officiant. If travel is involved, an additional gratuity is appreciated $100 to $125.

It is customary to give fifty cents to $1.00 per guest. However, it may be to your advantage to arrange for a flat fee prior to the event.

15% - 20% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)

A tip of 15% is the appropriate amount to be given to your limo driver. Be sure to read your contract, as the tip has often already been added into the final bill.

$1.00 - $2.00 per car (if not accepting gratuity from guests, the host would be responsible for tipping parking attendants at the end of the event.)

Fees for church organists and musicians are often included in the rental fee for the church. When this is not the case, a gratuity of no less than $35 is appropriate, but in a recent survey, the average was $50 for each person. When the organist and musician (soloist) are close friends of the couple or family, the gratuity averaged $75.

1. The Needs Of The Audience Come First. Every one of your invited guests has a need and a right, to see you, to hear you, and to be entertained by what you have invited them to. If your wedding ceremony is not enjoyed by everyone present- you fail. Also, it is not enough to simply recreate for your guests every wedding ceremony they've already seen a dozen times. The typical wedding ceremony - which has the couple's backs turned to their guests, and which is virtually inaudible to all except those in the first row, uses predictable music etc.- is so numbing that 10% to 40% of those invited will skip it and attend the reception. I'll show you how to change all of this by using a custom ceremony format that's fun to watch and listen to, as well as emotionally evocative. The success of your wedding ceremony lies in engaging your guests; everything else is secondary to this.

2 Feelings Make Weddings. The ceremony must evoke feelings in your guests for feelings are what move us- not mere words. Intellectually based ceremonies, where love is explained or where the Officiate bases the ceremony on telling anecdotal stories about the couple make for marginal affairs indeed. One month after your wedding day, very few people will be able to tell you what was said during your ceremony- that's human nature. But ten years from now they will still be able to tell you how they felt at your wedding ceremony. The success of your wedding ceremony will therefore be measured in smiles and tears. Don't let it be measured in yawns. I need to try to know you both well to do this for you.

3. Poise Makes A Bride And Groom. Even though I have 90% of the speaking role in your ceremony, you and your bridal party are going to do a lot more talking than I am. And you're going to do by the way you conduct yourselves. Despite my beautiful presentation of your ceremony, your guests will be intently studying you, not me. And therein lies an immense opportunity for the both of you. By conducting yourselves in a focused, calmed, at times lightly affectionate manner, and by taking your time when interacting with loved ones during your ceremony, your poised performance will bring rave reviews. Don't worry, you may not know how to give such a performance right now but my thorough rehearsal session with you, typically between an hour, to an hour and a half in length, will have you well prepared and confident for a stellar performance.

4. Your Ceremony Must Use Effective Visuals. In every wedding ceremony- the eyes have it. In other words, what your your guests see will far outweigh what they hear. It follows then that 'story telling', as when a minister attempts to explain the meaning of love, or give the history of your relationship, will fall far short as a means of conveying what the day truly means to you. Learning is work. Do you believe your guests would rather read the book or watch the movie?

In wedding planning, I make extensive use of visuals. A visual might be the lighting of a unity candle; the use of readers; the giving of a long stem rose to your mothers and grandmothers; the lighting of a candle before the picture of a deceased loved one; wine sharing by the bride and groom; or a great finale involving your guests in a balloon release as you walk down the aisle between them. Your ceremony must be strong in it's visual appeal. You'll not only delight your guests, but a wedding video ceremonial reading containing you parents wedding photos, your baby pictures, to adulthood and then meeting each other and right up to the wedding with a reading and music in the background will be rich in imagery as well as exceptional.

The three mandatory requirements for a wedding in Massachusetts are:
    1. The two people intending to get married
    2. The officiator
    3. A valid marriage license

No. Massachusetts Law does not require that witnesses be present at your ceremony.

Absolutely. I have a number of samples available from which you may choose. If you prefer, you can write your own words, or a combination of both I will be glad to customize vows for you. Some couples like to included poems, love letters, have friends or relatives speak.

This ceremony symbolizes the joining of two families members of each family light a candle and give it to their family member about to be wed. If the ceremony is at night they in turn light one candle that has been given to each guest. Then they place their candles on opposite side during the ceremony. After they say their vows they each carry their family candle to the center and light the unity candle that has been placed there.

Each family give the member of its family being married a cup of wine this signifies individuality and family. After the vows they pour that into a shared glass and each take a sip; this symbolizes their union now.

A hand ceremony takes place just before a ring ceremony and I ask both people to hold and look at their fiancé's hands and I talk about what a gift their hands are to you by mentioning what they do with their hands for you. This ceremony is a ancient ceremony taken from the old hand tying ceremony, "Tying the Knot", where couples hands where gently tied for a ceremony and this was accepted as a civil marriage for hundreds of years right up into the 1930's. It speaks to the love and bonding to each other in the wedding ceremony.

I also have other ceremonies you may choice from. I can show you these if we have a consultation.

Rice, bird food, grass seed, flower petals, bubbles. Each guest can throw one of their shoes over the brides head, very carefully.

The bride can walk down an aisle runner made up of , sea shells, pebbles, sea glass, small flowers whole. fresh rose petals, a path in the sand between dunes, a path in a park.

The bride and groom can face their guests during the ceremony, or face each other half way turned toward guests , or you backs may be to your guests, or your guests may encircle you.

The newlyweds can hand a rose to each guest at the end of the ceremony, showing they want to share the love of their day and appreciate the guests coming to their wedding you can also, give them a small favor or memento, share a glass of champagne, have a barbecue, have a picnic, some h'or dourves, go out for toasts or dinner, brings your suits change and go swimming for awhile.

Definitely. There are many ways to include family members and friends in the ceremony. For example, your loved ones can do readings or music, walk down the aisle, carry the rings, and participate in candle lighting, flower ceremony and more. There are limitless possibilities.

Yes, definitely, we can also include any other special traditions you desire. We want the wedding to suit your needs and desires for the perfect wedding.

No. They are traditional, however, rings are not required. Some couples exchange other things as keepsakes as well.

Anywhere you want, outdoors, at your home, at a hospitality site, or any location and up to twelve miles out in the ocean. You will find the Cape and Islands are full of many beautiful and historical locations from which to choose.

A rehearsal is important if you are planning anything other than a very basic wedding. It gives everyone, not just the bride and groom, an opportunity to become familiar with their roles in the wedding ceremony. However, it is not a “must.”

The Pre-nuptial conference helps individualize your wedding. This meeting sets the tone for your wedding ceremony. We can customize your ceremony with passages and readings that express your thoughts, feelings, and commitment. I have a number of services and vows available from which you can choose. The meeting also affords you the opportunity to become familiar with me as your officiate, and gives me the chance to know you a little better.

It is for these reasons that I recommend a pre-nuptial conference. On the other hand, if you "just want to get married," call me and we can set up a time and a place to do just that, even on short notice.

Yes. I have a number of ceremonies for those who want to celebrate a renewal of their vows.

Yes, it is possible, if it is a weekday, and you get an early start. First go a town hall, and apply for your license, then to the courthouse to ask the judge for a waiver and then back to the town hall to pick up your marriage certificate. This is very difficult time-wise but possible with an early start. I will help you as much as I can if this is your desire.

Please call me anytime at the number shown below. If I am not at home, leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can. If you prefer, you can email me and I will respond as quickly as possible.

I specialize in organizing and conducting weddings of all faiths and traditions. I will help to plan your personalized ceremony and vows, making your ceremony one-of-a-kind and creating memories that will last a lifetime. With many vows to choose from and other services offered, I will do my best to make your wedding day special.

Toasts are usually lead by the Best Man, then the Father of the Bride, then keep the floor open have the Best man help others to give you toasts if the care to also, the Bride and Groom can also toast their parents or guests.

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Last Minute Wedding Tips

List of last minute tips for wedding couples. I hope some of these help you during and after your service.

Bring your license in a STAMPED enveloped the clerk usually gives you an envelope with their return address on it for me to return your license in.

Legal size envelopes take one stamp if it is larger than that it will need two stamps.

Licenses are not given back to you. They are registered in my office, then sent to the town clerk and she completes the license and registers it in the town office and with the city average time for this is 10 days but it can take up to a month and a half. Town clerks have busy jobs handling elections and all kinds of licenses so sometime it takes a while. If you need your license to be expedited let me know we can arrange hand delivery or special delivery services for you in some cases you may be able to have it that day or the next business day. But do let me know ahead of time so we can set that up and discuss the expense involved.

Never for any reason are copies of your license to be given out or the original given back to the couple until the are registered. This is illegal and I could loose my license if I did this so please do not ask. I understand the need for a rush on it at times and I will try to help you with that. I can not give your license back to you for any reason what so ever.

Be sure not to drink to much or do drugs or we will have to cancel the ceremony until you are of sound mind and are able to legally contract. Remind you attendants it is your special day and you do not want them to ruin it with to much drinking so no drinking 3 hours before ceremony.

I would not suggest to much partying the night before as it can cause people to feel ill and pass out during their own ceremony. Note this goes for attendants also.

All cell phones OFF for ceremony spread the word.

Guys take our hats off for ceremony.

Sun Glasses off during ceremony.

No gum chewing.

If children are attendants in your ceremony and act up or cry let them be excused to go with their parents, or whomever can comfort them, trauma is not good for a ceremony. If they want to walk around that is fine.

I hope you are getting pictures, tell the photographer they are free to take pictures during the entire ceremony they will not bother us.

Musicians can also play during the whole ceremony if they keep it to a background sound it is very nice. If they need to be notified when to start playing I will be glad to do so.

You will need to notify various companies and institutions to let them know you are married. Some of these will require a certified copy of your marriage license, a copy, letter or phone call. Be sure to get the additional copies you may need from the town clerk whom you are obtaining your license from.

Banks
Credit Cards
Contract Holders
Drivers License
Employer
Insurance Company
IRS
Passport
Post Office
Retirement Plan
Voter Registration
Also remember to look over or establish legal documents.
Health Care Proxy
Living Will
Power of Attorney

If you are in the service they will want a copy
Immigration

Trust
Will

There could be others also this is just a base list for you.

If the wedding is out of doors you may well need to bring along bug spray: they do make a natural blend without deet, that does not smell bad or a large golf umbrella.

Another tip bring a handkerchief in pocket; it is not unusual for someone to need this.

If you are doing the sand ceremony bring your containers.

If you are doing the rose ceremony bring the roses.

If you need a small table bring that.

Wine ceremony requires a bottle of wine an OPENER and a goblet or two.

Hand fasting ceremonies require 2, 5 or 6 foot long bindings.

Don’t forget your rings it is better to keep them in an adults pocket and tie fake ones on a pillow for the ring bearer to carry. Once dropped in sand or grass they can be gone.

Ring fingers normally swell for ceremonies and rings that fit the day before will have great difficulty going on so put extra hand lotion just on your ring finger before the ceremony!

Feet, ladies high heels and hose get chewed up in the sand just like rubbing rough grit sand paper on them. So if you have special heels picked out save them for before and after the beach. Better to wear sandals, flip flops, or just go barefoot! You can have I love you painted on your toe nails, or I do, I do. It is a beach wedding…

If you are doing a beach wedding or tour remember you can bring a cooler with cheeses, shrimp, crackers, sparkling wine or beverages etc. with you to celebrate. Be green and clean up behind yourselves.

I will be glad to do a toast for you just let me know.

If you are having a large group we should arrange for an outdoor PA system so everyone can hear. Let me know or work with your DJ on this.

First kiss hold it for “1 to 5 Mississippi” so photographers can grab it! Have fun with this and practice some drama with it ahead of time! Maybe a dip…

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For Deaf or Hard of Hearing Needing Interpreters

Requests for Interpreters are made either directly by Deaf, Deaf-Blind, late deafened, hard of hearing and hearing individuals and/or agencies, organizations, schools, employers, businesses, doctors, hospitals, police departments, courts and other entities seeking to make themselves accessible to the former.

It is generally the payee - the party legally responsible under state and federal law for provision and payment for such service - that initiates the request.

Where do I make the request?

Massachusetts Commission for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing
Interpreter/CART Referral Service
150 Mt. Vernon Street, Fifth Floor
Boston, MA 02125
Phone Numbers#

617-740-1600 Voice / Adrian
617-740-1700 TTY
617-740-1880 Fax
Toll Free: 800-530-7570 TTY
Toll Free: 800-882-1155 Voice
Hours: 8:45 a.m. - 5:00 PM, Monday - Friday

For wedding / legal emergencies only, please call 1-800-249-9949 TTY/Voice everyday, 24 hours a day.

What should I tell the Referral Specialist?

Your name, telephone number and organization (if applicable)

Date and time that you will need an interpreter, and length of assignment

Address of the assignment including specifics: the name of the building, court or clinic, what floor, room number, etc.

The nature and format of the meeting (i.e., medical appointment, platform lecture, staff meeting, civil or criminal court case, docket number, etc.)

Number of participants, Deaf, Deaf-Blind, Hard of Hearing, Late Deafened and hearing

Special equipment to be used (i.e., microphones, overhead projectors, video, etc.) for interpreters and/or CART providers; specify whether projection services will be required and what equipment, if any, you can or will provide (i.e. monitor, LCD projector, projection screen, etc.)

Names of deaf participants and their preferred mode of communication (i.e., American Sign Language, oral, Signed English, etc.), if known; and names of participants who will be using CART services

Names of preferred interpreters and CART providers. Often Deaf, Deaf-Blind, hard of hearing, and late deafened individuals provide the names of their preferred interpreters and/or CART providers. These individuals are contacted first in an attempt to honor these preferences. If there is an interpreter or CART provider you would prefer not to work with, feel free to inform MCDHH

Payment information: the name, address, and telephone number of the person who will be paying for the interpreter and/or CART provider

Name and telephone number of the contact person at the location of the assignment

Please call in your request as early as possible, as freelance interpreters and CART providers often book their schedules weeks if not months in advance. Every attempt will be made to fill your request; however, all requests are subject to the availability of interpreters and/or CART providers. Priority will be given to those requests involving urgent mental health, medical and legal matters. Generally, MCDHH will notify the requestor at least two days prior to the assignment to inform them if an interpreter and/or CART provider has been scheduled. A one-week notification period will be used for requests for conferences, certain meetings, and other events in which rescheduling is difficult or impossible. Please note that only the requestor (the person paying for the service) will be notified regarding the availability of the interpreter/CART provider.

If it is an emergency request, what should I do?
The MCDHH After-hours Emergency Interpreter Service provides on-call interpreters in designated regions throughout the state to respond to emergencies evenings after 5:00 PM, and on weekends and holidays. MCDHH depends on freelance interpreters' volunteering to staff this service, and therefore, cannot guarantee having on-call interpreters available in all regions at all times.

During regular daytime business hours, MCDHH is not able to provide on-call interpreters assigned only to emergency requests. However, during these regular hours, MCDHH coordinates emergency responses, when possible, through the freelance and MCDHH staff interpreter systems.

For all medical, mental health and legal emergency interpreter requests, day or night, call: 1-800-249-9949 TTY/Voice. Evenings after 5:00 PM, weekends, and holidays, you may also call 800-760-1625 TTY and 617-556-5286 Voice.

What if there is a cancellation or a change from the original request?
Please report any changes or cancellations as soon as possible. This is necessary regardless of whether you have received confirmation from MCDHH that an interpreter has been assigned. Since interpreters and CART providers are in high demand this information will assist in more efficient use of their services. If cancellations are not called in at least 48 business hours in advance of the assignment date, you may be billed in full for the interpreter's time.

How much does it cost to hire an interpreter?
As do other professionals who contract their services, interpreters charge fees based on qualifications, experience, and type of job assignment. The fees quoted below are approximate ranges; fees are set by the individual interpreters for jobs in the private sector.

Freelance interpreter: a minimum fee ranging from $60 to $128 for the first two hours depending on level of certification and training. Usually, but not always the first two hours of a wedding are free of charge.

Exact fees per job, cancellation policy, travel, and mileage are negotiated by the paying consumer and the freelance interpreter.

Gratuities are up to you if you have been happy with their services provided.

Can I give feedback about the interpreter?
Yes. You can share feedback, both positive and negative, with MCDHH. The relevant information regarding any complaint will be shared but the name of the complainant and specific details that could identify same will not be used without your express permission.

To have an interpreter for your wedding the following information is needed.

u Today’s Date: u Your Name:

u Your Phone #: Ext. u Your Fax #:

u Your Agency:: Justice Judith Todd-McNichol JP DD office number 508 896 9898

u Date(s) of Assignment:/ Wedding

u Beginning Time of Assignment: / Wedding u End Time of Assignment: Location/Address of Assignment: (include bldg., floor, and room #)

u On-site Contact Person:: Justice Judith Todd-McNichol u Phone # On-site: / cell #

u Description of Situation/Nature of Assignment: Wedding Ceremony / a copy of the ceremony can be emailed to the interpreter ahead of time, once ,we have their name, phone and email from Judiith Todd-McNichol‘s office or faxed to them. Whichever they prefer..

u Names of Deaf or Hard of Hearing Person(s):

Communication Preference, if known (ASL, Signed English, tactile, CDI, etc):

Requested Interpreters (unless otherwise specified by requestor, Ref eral Service will also check with other qualified Interpreters if requested Interpreters are unavailable):

Total # of Participants Other Agencies Involved:

Total # of Hearing impaired attending ceremony

Calendar - Check your dates:

Enter end date and time